Shoot, shovel and shut-up.

Shortly after Bub and I got married, we had our first tiff. This is not my first marriage, but it is his. So predictably he fired off a shot…. well what are you going to do, divorce me?

No.

I will never divorce again. I will kill you.

That was the end of that.

Bub and I have been married quite a while now and have gone through some growing pains and have stuck it. The reality of actually killing someone gives great pause. I certainly feel mad enough at times, but when the option of divorce is off the table and only homicide is left, common sense returns.

Am I really mad enough to kill another human being. Probably not.

But I do think about it and have repeated this stance to a number of people. If Bub ever were to disappear, then a whole host of folks would look at me first as the cause. This is actually a safety for me. Too many people know and I would get caught. And even if I didn’t kill him and he disappeared on purpose to screw with me, I would still be thrown in jail for suspicion of homicide. A 48 hour mystery in the making.

So am I really mad enough to kill him? Don’t know. But I do know that I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life in jail. I doubt that they would give me any knitting needles and life without knitting is a life not worth living. I know that it sounds really black, but this thinking is so much better then thinking about divorce.

So Bub thinks that this is not a good blog topic, and said ” when the police show up here, I will say, yes, she has threatened me several times. They will cart you away. You will get free room and board baby” Then he said, ” I think it is fine a couple of folks know that around here, but what if you lure me to Iowa and then do me in?”

Well, now that I have blogged about it, Bubby you are safe. I will not trick you to going out to Iowa and then do you in. Everyone will know and I will be caught. What will become of my sheep?

Besides, except for the snoring, I think I kinda like ya.