Shoot, shovel and shut-up.

Shortly after Bub and I got married, we had our first tiff. This is not my first marriage, but it is his. So predictably he fired off a shot…. well what are you going to do, divorce me?

No.

I will never divorce again. I will kill you.

That was the end of that.

Bub and I have been married quite a while now and have gone through some growing pains and have stuck it. The reality of actually killing someone gives great pause. I certainly feel mad enough at times, but when the option of divorce is off the table and only homicide is left, common sense returns.

Am I really mad enough to kill another human being. Probably not.

But I do think about it and have repeated this stance to a number of people. If Bub ever were to disappear, then a whole host of folks would look at me first as the cause. This is actually a safety for me. Too many people know and I would get caught. And even if I didn’t kill him and he disappeared on purpose to screw with me, I would still be thrown in jail for suspicion of homicide. A 48 hour mystery in the making.

So am I really mad enough to kill him? Don’t know. But I do know that I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life in jail. I doubt that they would give me any knitting needles and life without knitting is a life not worth living. I know that it sounds really black, but this thinking is so much better then thinking about divorce.

So Bub thinks that this is not a good blog topic, and said ” when the police show up here, I will say, yes, she has threatened me several times. They will cart you away. You will get free room and board baby” Then he said, ” I think it is fine a couple of folks know that around here, but what if you lure me to Iowa and then do me in?”

Well, now that I have blogged about it, Bubby you are safe. I will not trick you to going out to Iowa and then do you in. Everyone will know and I will be caught. What will become of my sheep?

Besides, except for the snoring, I think I kinda like ya.

Found a snapping turtle with the sheep.

Our day started off with horrible heat and humidity. The sheep and I discovered a huge snapping turtle in the compost heap. We heard a hiss and Wu started stamping her hoof showing a warning to the flock. The babies didn’t listen to well and were curious.

The turtle didn’t like the idea of moving. I think that it had climbed up because of the nesting duck or maybe it was making its own nest to lay eggs. In any case, I was afraid that it would go after the ducks or even hurt the lambs if they go too close. I tried to lift it with the shovel, but it was much to big and heavy and then it quickly buried itself back into the compost heap. Look closely and you will see its tail.

I was able to flip it down the hill with my shovel, then into the hay sled and we took a short ride out of the pasture and down the road.

Another quick flip and out of the sled. With the shovel as a prodding stick, the turtle reluctantly went back into the woods.  Now I wonder if the turtle came from the pond next door or from our beaver pond at the bottom of the hill.  Was this reptile responsible for the eggs vanishing?  What of the ducklings to come soon?

I told the turtle that if she ever shows up again in the pasture, I will make turtle soup out of her. She has her fair warning.  I have never had turtle soup but I bet its good.

The cold front has come through and it is a bit better weather tonight for sleeping.  I managed to get in a couple of miles running between the storms.  But I am restless.  We seem to have a batch of no-see-ums in the bedroom and Bub is snoring to beat the band.  It is a good night to write.