Last night I spent some good time writing another piece for this blog. Wu is ready to deliver again and so I thought that would make a good topic.
My issue is that I am not very savy with uploading photos or getting the edits I want. I get confused with the pages that pop up after an edit. Where did the pictures go? Why are there three copies of the same picture? Why are there now three pages open on blog? My dyslexia with fatigue as a chaser takes me down.
This morning, the solutions are simple. The blog is completed with the pictures I want, in the places I want. I post. I check out the page. Looks ok. now to get to the barn and feed out.
Wait, there is a page I have been working on, it will take only two minutes to get the pictures up and post that. I know what I’m doing.
There is the page in the draft section. Up goes the picture.
UGH. the photo is on the wrong page. I delete the picture. Save the post. Right?
I did it again. I deleted the wrong post. My writing for the morning sabotaged by me. Everything I have written last night and this morning is gone. It made it to the blog for a total of 8 minutes.
When I try to do something that I have done successfully in the past, and come up against really stupid mistakes, it generally means that I should stop what I am doing and shift directions. That is my inner gut speaking here. My guide. I have learned to listen. When I am supposed to write about my sheep, it will come easily. Just not now.
There have been times in my life that I have not listened, or ignored that inner voice. Then, like a 2×4 upside the head, I get smacked with what I am supposed to do. Learning to listen to the voice is not natural. We are raised to ignore it and listen to others for direction. There have been times when I felt like I needed to do something, yet as soon as I began I felt as if I was going to die inside. We call that ” the sinking feeling” in the ” pit of our stomach”.
To listen to that inner voice with things so small as a blog entry takes practice. The bigger issues with dramatic consequence prompts us to look for our inner guide. Should I take that job? Buy that house? Maturity and self knowledge gives us the permission to act on that internal advice.
My friend Sue called this weekend and we talked about a job opportunity for her. After a while it was clear that she didn’t want the job, although it was going to pay significantly more. The truth for her was that it was hard for her to go by her intuition because of feelings she had around making decisions for herself. She said that she would feel guilty saying no. Once that was on the table in front of her, it was easy. She knew her desire that whole time, but needed permission to do what was right for her.
It takes a lot of practice to listen to that internal voice. Even with something as simple as a blog entry. With practice comes maturity and self knowledge. I am still working on this.
I don’t know why blogging about Madame Wu is not the plan today. But after several attempts, we will all just have to wait.
