The sheep are so happy to have more of the Christmas tree to munch. We pitched the tree off the deck and into the pasture after the holiday. The flock gets a winter treat, but with all of the ice and snow this year, half of the tree was fresh frozen. Yesterday I was able to get to the tree and was pleased to see it so green on one side. The sheep were pleased too.
The ducks are happy for the change too. They have been looking for grubs in the run off and laying eggs in random places. I collect 2-3 eggs a day. It is still to wet to take the flock off hay. Another month or so. But in the mean time the flock roams around the muck and mud waiting for the plants to start sprouting again. April is a time of waiting it out.
I am mired in the muck as well. I left a full time paying job in July to be home for a bunch of reasons. I want to grow the flock to a size that I can farm full time. I would like to be able to work on my designing as well. But cash flow is an issue. So there is part time, fill in work. It helps pay some of the bills, but takes away from time I should be using to build my farm. Also, because I am home, there is the expectation agreement that I will do the house work, marketing, taxes, and so forth.
The greatest thing about leaving a regular job is that time is my own to schedule. The hardest thing about leaving a regular job is that time is my own to schedule. I have a billion things to do every day and somehow the discipline I once had in organizing my own time has melted away. I am in the mud and waiting for the ground to firm up again.
I need a kick in the pants, or a good shove to get moving. The sheep need a shove to. I led the flock up the road yesterday for the first time in 6 months. Half of the flock had never gone this route before and were reluctant to follow. I needed to move gates around to limit the choices the sheep had for moving out of the pasture. We went up to the summer pasture which is still spongy. Then after a bit of corn, we headed back down to the barn. With a couple of tries, the sheep will see the blue bucket and will know it is time to move.
Where is my shepherd now? I am waiting for the signal to move again to new pastures. I am inpatient and dislike the feeling of being mired down. I feel unproductive and fat after a long winter. This is when my faith is supposed to kick in. But it hasn’t yet.
